20 days of January

Its only been 20 days, but there's so much going on!!!!

Work @ the gym
House shifting - to a new rented bigger house
Dog time and organization (gotta make sure theyre comfortable in their new place)
Work @ the bar ... accounts. sigh
Raven turns 27 -  party hopping
Mom In Law (MIL) birthday
Work @ online ... my new business

is there too much on my plate?

I really wonder.

But money is never too much on my plate. So... i guess, there is never always too much on my plate...

Gotta suck it up, and enjoy it while it lasts.

As usual, a few photos of MIL's Birthday in Souled Out, Hartamas  ;)

whats going on

ahh!! its another 10 days to Christmas, and another 15 to 2014!

I'm quite happy that this year is going to be over. 2013 isn't the best year for me... 

The lack of blogging already tells a lot, not to mention the posts in 2013....

Life goes on... I've learnt to be strong. Though time is the real challenge. 

Time heals everything. Every little thing.... and when you need more time, you just don't get it, do you? 

... life. As is.

I always update on special dates, such as 10.10.10 right till 10.11.12 ...

Now, what did I do for 11.12.13???

Spent time with the family :) Raven is now on a long break after finishing his housemanship... so he's been bumming in our house for a bit... we had dinner together, and went for the MOET CHANDON Champaign launch in Sultans at Mandarin Oriental Hotel 

It was a dead party.Not worth mentioning it actually, but its the company that counts.

We had fun by ourselves. Dad wasn't there, so it was just us young bunch :)

What am I on to recently?

Well, our family took over a Bar in Bangsar, and we've been pretty much caught up there every night just to make sure everything runs smooth.

We got our friends to open shisha stall by the balcony, and its pretty alright so far.

Working at two jobs is very tiring, but if its our own business, no complains right??

To be honest, managing time is the worst! My sleeping hours are pretty much screwed. I feel I'll be getting older twice as fast now! heh

And with all this business going on, I  came up with a great idea on another business! My own personal business plan, which I am very proud of, and has took its first step in making it real.... So excited!

I think it will kick off somewhere in February.... its like my little baby... I try to think all the plans for it, but its just unknown. I don't know where to start or if it will be what I expected, or if it will all burst out and I wont be able to handle it alone :s

Oh well oh well, need to be patient...

So hows the "house" coming along? its habitable now, but we just dont have the time to furnish it. graahhh!!

With this much on my plate, I think that can wait...

Whats life now at home?

After Toby left, all of us were down. Every time we came back home to our porch, we think of him, coz he'll be waiting for us...after 2 weeks Toby went to Heaven, I got a kitten named Bob.

He's a munchkin. A breed which is genetically has short legs, so he pretty much looks like a hotdog cat..

Still a little tiny now, so he's in his cage most of the time... we let him out when we're home and he goes all wild! Bobs' now our night entertainment after a long day of work :)

Here's Bob: 

We are getting pretty well now... I hope it'll be better in 2014. *crossed fingers*

Toby, May 2005-Oct 2013

I'm still very tired. Tired of everything.

I just wanted to pen this down before I call it a night.

Toby, my ginger colored Persian cat left us today. We woke up in the morning by our neighbours who kept calling from the main door.

Toby was found sprawled in front of their house, body frozen, eyes wide open.

It's a horrible way for you to leave us, Toby. I hope you did not suffer too long when the pack of strays came at you.
I wished I heard all that barking by Daisy and the rest.

I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you.

I'm going to miss you so much.

But I do know that you're in a better place now.

I still can't help to ask, why did this happen so soon.

Why did You take him away so soon..

Why do You take things I love one after the other.

I hope this does make me stronger.
I'm still trying to believe death is a new beginning, but don't take them from me while I'm still alive.
Don't let their beginning start before mine... I need them here with me. Please. No more.

I miss you, Toby

Rough September

Never knew why they sing the song "wake me up till September ends". I always thought, Are you crazy!!! Wake up when Sept comes coz its my birthday month!

This year, I realized why some people hate September. Not that I hate September, but this year, it has been particularly extremely tiring.

I've been juggling two jobs, experiencing another heavy bleeding, and on the side, planning my house renovation again.
Please don't ask what happened to my house. I've been so busy that even that little bit of work has been put off on hold.

Being so tired, and having less fun, I still helped out with 'the' family to set up a birthday party. Because i helped, people started talking about me getting pregnant.
And being over excited of the word 'pregnant', she spilled the beans about me having miscarriage as if it meant nothing to her or anyone else for that matter!

And because she made it so casual, some retarded lady came asking to just to confirm if it was real.
Do note that these are all family members of my husbands. I didn't know if i should just yell at the one who spilled the word out or just kick the lady who just asked me.

I would understand if the lady came sympathizing on me. At least I wouldn't feel 'that' bad thinking she had good faith. But this was different. She just came, asked and left.
Obviously I denied. But as if she cared. She just got the news from the most reliable source.

And so what did I do?

well, I walked over to Josh and questioned him out loud. Just because his father (and no one else) was sitting behind him..Josh was shocked. At the time, we still didn't know who spoke about this. So being me, angry and frustrated, I walked over to Josh's dad and asked. Well, it wasn't him. He was as shocked as we were.
So i suspected.. must be one of the female in the house.

I spot one of them, alone. I went over and asked in a curious manner.
She answered in the most casual way that she was the person who said it.
I lost my head.
I told her "I thought the pregnancy was meant to be a secret, until we were all sure that it was safe to tell everyone.. why did you say it out?"

She just looked at me surprised and walked away!
Can you believe that? It was as if it was my wrong to question her!

I left. I left the party right away. But I still had my manners to bid everyone goodbye. Obviously she ignored me.

This happened 2 weeks ago.

The family invited me for dinner last Sunday. Josh and I went, only to have her still ignoring us. Yes, Us, not just me..

What get my blood boiling is, you preach about forgiveness, patiences, and everything the bible teaches.. but you don't keep secrets, you act childishly and you keep grudges.

Great.

I should be the one dead pissed at you. I should be the one ignoring you.

But because I'm better than you, I'm just keep it low. So here it is, me letting off my anger in this secret blog that I have, that no one ever knows about.

its August!

I have been missing a while. That really shows how busy I've been.
Oh well, I'm not complaining. I kinda like this life, really. Being my own boss with Mr Hubs is pretty fun.
We go to work together, wake up late whenever, and get stressed together as well. Hahaha

Besides working, our house is nearly completed! Just waiting for some extra cash to beautify it to the way I like it before I move in. I believe it'd be a mess to move in, and to get some minor reno done later.
I hope we get to move in by my Birthday in Sept :)

Milk.

Not sure why this is happening. But it is happening.

Sh!t!


Other than that, everything is picking up slowly. I'm glad I am this busy to take my mind of it :)

First Day

I had a meltdown 2 nights ago.

Thinking what would have been a 3 month thing, that was no longer in me.
I was a little upset, more disappointed that I could've ever imagined.

I believe God has reasons for this. I trust in Him. I don't blame anyone. I'm just disappointed that it had to turn out like this.

I try not to talk about it. Try to not think about it.

So I offered to help Josh's sister out in her boutique. Bringing it to a whole new level, via online sale.
On top of that, I also agreed to help Josh out in his gym.

I am supposed to be studying right now. Exam is a month away, but I can't seem to focus on the notes. My mind keeps drifting to what could've been, and what ifs.


I am an avid follower of few blogs, and they all talking about their kids, and pregnancy.. which isn't helping me much. So, I try to stay off it by doing some actual work.

Be out there in the field, pressured and focused on a goal.


So here I am now, waiting. Waiting for my first sales call.
My first day of work after 2 months.